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Old 10-13-2010, 12:40 PM   #1
Doopliss
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Default How Well Did I Do?

EDIT: I removed this because it was an embarrassing piece of literary trash, however if anyone cares, I think I've improved! =D
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Old 10-17-2010, 12:43 PM   #2
Cim
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Instead of 'every one' or 'each one' you could just put they, or find other words to use. Those are phrases and words that you would find in a young adult novel since they're simple phrases. Try and be more specific in your descriptions. There are a number of writing resources on the internet that you can use on the internet and if you want you could also purchase some books that give a ton of great pointers! I have a few at home, I'll look at the titles and let you know!
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Old 10-28-2010, 04:00 PM   #3
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I was thinking that too, I made a first chapter and began revising and revising. It lacks description, I need more detail.

I think its an easy mistake to make though, I've never tried writing in this way before.

Also, I was afraid to use certain words again because I don't want to screw up the tense then have to revise it completely.
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Organic Superlube? Oh, it's great stuff, great stuff. You really have to keep an eye on it, though - it'll try and slide away from you the first chance it gets.

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